It's early in the morning and I need to my caffeine fix. Until I've had my latte any brain functionality will be severly hampered.

Staggering into "insert name of evil capitalist, exploitative coffee chain corporation" I slurr my order at the barrista. Please note, slurring is early morning induced, but could occasionally come from the hangover due to a this-week-day-is-the-new-friday party out (it seemed like a good idea at the time).

It's fascinating that the barrista understands my order despite the lack of spoken coherence. This is similar to cab drivers who somehow manage to extract your home address from your drunken attempts at understandable speech.

Armed with said caffeine dosis, I venture back to the bus stop that will take me to my final workplace destination, where the pretence of efficiency shall continue.

In the bus is where the universe's law of physics somehow are thrown into a blender because when it comes to my coffee, gravity doesn't seem to apply anymore.

Every bump the bus takes, and it seems the bus driver is actually aiming for them, manages to somehow create a coffee burst even through the tiny lid opening that's supposed to keep the whole coffee experience civilised.

But I'm so desperate for my morning fix that I'll just suckle on the coffee, just hoping that any resulting burns will not lead to permanent lip damage. After all, I can't even sue "insert name of evil capitalist, exploitative coffee chain corporation" for damages as we are in Europe.

By the time I reach my destination at least half the coffee has found its way onto my clothes.

What the heck, brown is the new black anyway ...

It's been a while since I've written anything in this blog ... oh dear this sounds like such a standard intro line, but since I don't share my daily life here (there's enough of that elsewhere) I only throw in snippets of ideas here and there.

That's not to say that nothing has been happening that could be of interest, oh there has, but the internet already contains too much information about my personal life. I do wonder if that will ever come back and haunt me.

Probably in the form of embarassing pictures when I apply for some really important job. Or maybe even this blog? I better not get into politics ...

So here's a random selection of things that caught my attention lately:

• Emotional Intelligence Aids Sex - so basically as long as ladies can imagine that it's actually Brad Pitt and not Bob the builder they're sleeping with, they stand a greater chance of reaching orgasm? No news there ...

• The Spotify Mystery - Spotify is a free music streaming service,which lets you listen to any music you choose ... for free.

  It's really that simple.

  In the age of rampant music piracy and cheap downloads, there's almost an inherent expectation that music should be free. Here it really is. But how the hell is that profitable? It isn't ...

And here's more funny random stuff:

• I'm on a boat!


• Just the most awesome beatboxing ever!


• Weird, weird, weird ... but funny, the Weng Weng Rap.

Finally an ad that's worth watching!

But what about the comedy value of Bush-isms?

Here's a selection that will definitely make you chuckle. But remember that this (soon) will have been the most powerful man in the world.

What a scary idea, especially if you remember the mess he's left behind.

Of course the question is whether the new president is going to be any better. Just because he's more eloquent doesn't necessarily mean that his policies are going to be much better.

Time will tell and 9 is a lucky number!

Now we all know that love hurts, sometimes in a good way, more often than not in a bad way.

A young Chinese woman found the unfortunate latter pain when her ear drums popped while kissing her lover.

Now that's bad kissing taken to a whole new level!

1. A single human body cell contains 75 MB in genetic information

2. Ergo, one sperm cell contains 37.5 MB

3. There’s 100 million sperm cells in one millilitre of sperm

4. During an ejaculation lasting about 5 seconds about 2.25 ml of sperm is released

5. Ergo, we can calculate that the data transfer rate of the male penis is (37,5M x 100M x 2,25) / 5 = 1687,5 Terrabytes per second

6. As a result we can assume that the female egg can withstand a DDoS attack of around 1.5 Petabytes per second and only let one data package through. That means that the female egg is the most robust firewall in the world!

7. But that one package messes up your whole system for 9 months and much longer!

No ... seriously, I mean like, basically, well ... to be honest ... the fact of the matter is that ... you know ...

And there you have it!

I've reeled of some of the most annoying speech cliches.

Think about how many times a day you use one of those. Personally, to be honest, I probably use at least 10 a day.

Although, finishing something by close of play is something my manager is more likely to say/write. But to be fair, he's been around longer than me, so maybe it's only a matter of time.

But let's touch base in a couple of years and we'll see what's in the pipeline. Until then, I just can't get my head around it.

Maybe lessons will be learned.

I found this quite amusing: